Undercover Snape
by Oricon
Summary: Voldemort has a new plan. Snape, under a very clever disguise must infiltrate Hogwarts and capture Harry Potter. HBP Compliant. There's humor! There's action! There's romance... sort of... So, read it!
1. The Awesomest Plan

This is my first fic with an plot that I thought out before I started writing it, lol. So, it should be pretty good. R/R! Enjoy!

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Undercover Snape

Chapter 1

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It was midday at the Death Eater's Headquarters and the Dark Lord had called one of his most loyal followers, for he had a task to be fulfilled.

"Severus, my boy!" leered the Dark Lord eerily as he sat in his cushy armchair and sipped his tea, not bothering to get up as Severus Snape entered the room.

"Good evening, Master," Snape stated, nervousness evident in his voice. "You wished to see me?"

"Yes, indeed," Voldemort hissed in disgust. Whether it was from the tea he was drinking or from Snape, it was not clear. "I hear from the other Death Eaters that it was you and not Draco who eliminated Dumbledore-"

Ah, it was disgust from Severus...

Snape defended himself, "I did what I had to do-"

"DON'T interrupt me! I am not angry, Severus. Merely disappointed that you would ignore the orders given to you to let Draco carry out the deed."

Severus stood awaiting the blow that was sure to come. Would it be the Cruciatus this time or a full blown Avada Kedavra? Severus was ready to flee the room and flinched when the Dark Lord held out a pair of dark-rimmed glasses for him to take.

The Dark Lord burst out in a deep, raspy laugh. "Why so jumpy, Severus?" He motioned for Snape to take the glasses.

"What is this?" Snape asked staring down at the object in Voldemort's hand with complete confusion etched on his normally neutral face.

"Take them," the Dark Lord insisted, and Severus obeyed. "I'm _rewarding_ you Severus, for your initiative in handling a situation that the young lad clearly couldn't."

Severus gaped at the Dark Lord, a purely ridiculous expression that caused Voldemort to laugh even more.

"What do you mean, rewarding?" Severus asked warily once again regaining his speech.

The Dark Lord sipped his tea and smiled, his calmness only agitated Severus more. "I'm sending you to Hogwarts," he stated. "And those," he pointed to the glasses Severus held limply in his hands, "are your disguise.

"You are to infiltrate Hogwarts and bring me Harry Potter."

"That's insane!" Severus exclaimed, breaking out of his reverie. "It's impossible! It's even more impossible than the last plan!"

"Severus," the Dark Lord sighed," it's not like I'm asking you to polyjuice into that Granger girl and shag Harry Potter."

"Right. Been there, done that," Severus sneered. (See A Romp with the Deatheaters)

"Well, you're doing this anyway. I'm the Dark Lord and you are my minion. Honestly, Severus. Sometimes I question your dedication."

"Sometimes I do as well," Severus hissed under his breath.

"Ok..." mused the Dark Lord, completely ignoring Snape's remark, "here's the plan: Under the alias of Sullivan Snap, you are to get the job as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and get close to Harry Potter. Gain his trust. Now, this is the important part: You must get him alone and completely disarm him, bind him with a charm and bring him to me! This is the best plan evahhhh!" the Dark Lord cackled manically and began sipping his tea again mumbling to himself.

"Um... sir?" Severus asked tentatively not sure of whether to break the Dark Lord's conversation with himself.

"You're still here! Get going! You have an interview with McGonagal in an hour!" the Dark Lord exclaimed.

"But, my disguise... It's not very concealing..." The Dark Lord glared at him blankly. "Don't you think I should wear more than a pair of dark-rimmed glasses?" Severus implied hopeful that the Dark Lord would see his logic.

"No," the Dark Lord stated simply. "It worked for Superman."

"Ah, but he is not real-"

"Get out!"

"Yes sir."

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And so Severus apparated to the Hogwart's front gate and began walking up to the castle muttering angrily to himself all the way. Up ahead of him, he saw tiny little Flitwik run through the castle door and disappear.

"This is so stupid. No one is going to be fooled by this disguise. I'll be in Azkaban before I get through the door. Stupid Voldemort. Stupid Draco. Stupid Dumbledore. Why did he have to go and die? I mean, who knew that saying Avada Kedavra and pointing your wand directly at someone could kill them? Oh, wait. You did know that, Severus. I mean... Sullivan. Got to get used to that. Stupid name. Oh, forgot to put my stupid glasses on."

As Severus reached the front door, still mumbling incoherently, he reached into his pocket and finding his glasses, snatched them out and put them on just as the castle door swung wildly open and ten wands were pointed straight at his bespectacled face.

Snape backed away slowly, preparing to flee when Minerva McGonagal stepped past Severus and surveyed the grounds. The other professors began muttering to each other as they dropped their wands.

"Well, where did he go?" Minerva asked irritated, her hands on her hips.

"I swear I saw him here," squeaked Professor Flitwik as he pushed Severus aside to go stand near McGonagal who was still scanning the boundaries of the castle.

"Oh my dear lord," Severus thought as he observed the people around him, "They have no idea who I am... Idiots..." Snape cleared his throat and Minerva turned around to face him.

"Ah! You must be Sullivan Snap! So sorry for keeping you standing out here, but we thought we saw that traitor Severus Snape traipsing around the grounds." She glared at Flitwik who looked sheepish and said sorry.

"Uhh... yes, I am Sullivan Snap. I'm here to interview for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position..."

"Excellent," Minerva beamed at him and shook his hand. "Just through these doors." She motioned for him to enter.

Severus walked into the castle fully shocked that his not so clever disguise had fooled the whole of the Hogwart's staff. He followed McGonagal up the marble staircase towards the office that used to be Dumbledore's preparing himself in his mind for the interview that was to come.

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"So, Mr. Sullivan Snap," McGonagal began as they reached her office, "Please have a seat. Tea?"

"I uh- Yes, please." Snape replied taking a seat in a hard backed chair opposite of McGonagal's desk.

Minerva glided over to a small table by the window in which there was a tea kettle with two cups. She filled the two cups with tea and then stood in front of them to block them from Severus' view. Severus could see her rustling through her robes looking for something and thought he heard her mutter something about a love potion. McGonagal must have found what she was looking for, for she turned around and handed Severus some very off-color tea and smiled at him sweetly.

"... Thanks..." Severus said trying to hide the disgusted look on his face as he pretended to sip the tea. "So this was why it was so hard for Hogwarts to find a decent Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor..." he thought.

McGonagal sat down behind her desk and paused, staring at Severus as if waiting for something. Severus stared right back at her trying very hard to keep a scowl off of his face. He attempted a smile and handed her the resume that he had drawn up while she was fixing his tea. It consisted of a sticky note with the title "Resume" at the top and the statement "I am qualified."

Minerva accepted his resume and made quite a show of looking it over and even made a few notes on a clipboard laying on her desk. After about five minutes of this she looked at Severus as if measuring him up. She cleared her throat, balled up Severus' resume, and stood up.

"You have the job seeing as there are no other candidates, Mr. Snap. Or should I say Professor Snap. That vaguely reminds me of something..." she paused, looking up at the ceiling and for a minute Severus froze, terrified that his cover was blown. "Exploding Snap!" she yelled and Severus jumped in his chair dropping his tea cup on the floor. "I used to play that game when I was a student at Hogwarts... twenty years ago..." she eyed Severus' reaction and he fought hard not to snort. "Those were the days... Anyways, your office is on the third floor. Since you've never been here before, you should have no trouble finding it. If you need anything... and I mean _anything_... Don't hesitate to Floo me," she smiled again, very sweetly, a strand of spittle dropping from her top lip.

Severus looked thoroughly disgusted as he got up to clean up the mess he had made with his tea cup. As he was bending over he noticed Minerva looming around behind him and almost fell over forward. He picked up the remaining bits of his crushed tea cup, but as he stooped over to pick up the last piece, the sleeve on his left arm rose up far enough for Minerva to get a glimpse of his Dark Mark.

"Oh, bollocks," he breathed, trying to hide his scarred arm.

"What's thisss?" she oozed when she saw what was on his forearm. She grabbed his arm forcefully and pulled up his sleeve even further. Snape tried to pull away, but her grip was too strong. He put his other hand inside his robes searching for his wand so that he could hex the wench before she discovered who he was. His hand was just closing around his wand when she squealed.

"A tattoo! I love tattoos on men, they're sooooo sexy."

Severus's hand paused in it's retrieval of his wand and he relaxed, relieved that his cover was not blown.

"Yours is so detailed," she said with excitement. "A skull with a snake slithering around it. So freakin' awesome." Severus rolled his eyes.

"She really is _that _stupid," he thought to himself as he pulled himself free of her grasp.

"I have a tattoo, Sullivan," she said slyly, using the privilege of his first name. She began to undo her robes.

"Oh, god," Severus thought, "Please no!"

"Look," Severus began. "I really should be going... I've just remembered that my dad... is still dead..." Severus began backing out of the room, leaving a very disappointed Minerva with her robes half undone.

"Oh, drats," Minerva sighed. "Lost another one..."

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So, whatcha think? Please leave some reviews, give me your feedback. I want to know if I'm doing anything right, lol.


	2. Severus' Very Bad Day

I have to say that this is my favorite chapter to write so far. I love writing my Lucius. Hope you enjoy it.

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Chapter 2

Severus retired to his rooms for the night, still disturbed by the events of the interview. As his belongings were still in the room from the year before, he had nothing to unpack and settled in quite easily. He had just gotten comfortable in his favorite green velvet armchair when there was a soft knock at the door.

Groaning inwardly and cursing outwardly he snarled at the door, "What is it?"

There was a pause from the person behind the door. In the crack between the door and the floor, feet were nervously shifting weight. The visitor rapped once more, very softly.

A very annoyed Severus yelled, "WHAT!" at the person behind the door.

The knocking continued, still very softly, but more urgently. Severus shot out of his chair, darting toward the door and opened it, his robes in a flurry around him. A hooded figure stood before him. A very stinky hooded figure.

"What the-" Severus began pinching his nose.

"Severus-" the voice whispered from under the hood.

"What... I mean... Who's Severus? I wouldn't know... My name is Sullivan..." Severus mumbled, his anger and annoyance forgotten in his need to keep his true identity secret.

"Oh," said the voice. A very familiar voice, Severus thought. "Volde- ...I mean... I was told that Severus would be here..." the voice continued. "I'll just be going then..."

The hooded figure turned around to leave, but as he did, a powerful draft that is so not a plot device blew his hood back from his head revealing long, and very oily white-blonde hair.

"Lucius!" Severus exclaimed, fully surprised. For all he'd known, Lucius was still in Azkaban.

The figure turned around to reveal that it was, indeed, Lucius. He looked a bit confused, however, and was backing away from Severus slowly.

"How do you know me!" he asked suspiciously.

"It's me," Severus snarled, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Severus."

"I didn't recognize you!" Lucius exclaimed. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Shhh-" Severus hushed Lucius, dragging him into his quarters. He shut the door with a snap, locking the door and muttered a silencing charm. He turned to face Lucius who was making himself at home in Severus' favorite chair.

"Get your stinky arse out of my favorite chair," Severus growled at Lucius and Lucius obeyed. Severus sat down and Lucius moved to sit opposite him on Severus' bed.

"Did I ask you to sit down, Lucius?" Snape asked dangerously.

Lucius immediately paused in his attempt to make himself more comfortable and opted instead to remain standing.

"What the hell is that stench anyway?" Severus asked, pinching his nose once more with a purely disgusted look on his face.

"I didn't notice any smell," Lucius stated, pulling a bit of what looked like rat feces from his hair. "But, I guess being in Azkaban, with no showers, rats, no sewage system, and a very friendly cell mate who likes to call me 'Mama' would cause me to smell a bit..."

Severus rolled his eyes. "How did you manage to get out? And more importantly, what are you doing here?"

"Well, ah, to answer the first question, I used the old 'tap the guard on the shoulder and run the other way' gag. Worked like a charm," Lucius replied.

"Only you..." Severus remarked

"Indeed," Lucius chuckled. "As for the second question, Voldemort thought it would be a good idea for me to hide out here for a while, cause I'm kinda on the Wizarding World's Most Wanted list."

"That makes two of us," Severus sighed.

"Why is that?"

"Oh, didn't you hear?" Lucius shook his head. "I killed Dumbledore last school year and now both the Order and the Ministry are out for my head."

"Go figure!" Lucius exclaimed shaking his head.

"I know, right," said Severus. "And anyway, you can't stay here. The idea is even ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder what goes through the Dark Lord's mind..."

"Well, I have to stay here, Severus. The Dark Lord said you'd be difficult. He said that if you refused, he'd come here and kill you himself."

"Ah," Severus thought it over for a moment. "Well, you can stay for the time being..."

"Score!"

"BUT, only until I speak with the Dark Lord. Hopefully we both won't be caught until then..."

"Fine," Lucius groaned, disappointed. "Well! Let's get some sleep!" Lucius chirped excitedly, tearing off his robes and preparing to jump into Severus' bed.

"No! You're showering. You smell like dead pole cats."

"Funny you should mention that," Lucius laughed. "I had one as a pet... But, I couldn't bring it with me, sadly..." Lucius became teary eyed. "Chester! How I miss thee!" he wailed.

"Shut up and go take a bath."

"Right," Lucius skipped into the bathroom and closed the door.

"And you're not sleeping in my bed," Severus called to Lucius. "You're on the floor."

"Aw, mannn."

Severus had survived one full night in Hogwarts castle and awoke to find himself encapsulated in a very strong embrace. He opened his eyes and moaned as they adjusted to the light. As he was trying to stretch he became very aware that the arms his was wrapped in were Lucius' and the struggle to remove himself shortly became life or death.

"Let- Me- Go- Lucius!" he growled, trying desperately to loosen himself from Lucius' grasp. Finally he resulted to kicking him, very hard, in his manhood.

Lucius woke up gasping and removed his hold on Severus to clutch his delicates which were in a very intense pain.

Severus got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. The welcoming feast and sorting were today and he needed to be in character so as to fool all of Hogwarts. He had very little faith that he would make it out alive considering Harry Potter was still attending, and he would surely recognize him at once and hex him into oblivion.

It was days like these that Severus wondered why he even bothered.

However his day had one redeeming factor. A hot and steamy shower. He reached inside the shower curtain and cut the water on. He began to undress while waiting for the water to warm. Once fully undressed, he tested the water with his hand and, finding it warm enough to his liking, he brushed the curtain aside just enough for him to step in and avoid releasing the steam that he enjoyed so much. But before his foot reached the surface of the tub, he eye caught a rancid ring of dirt around his beloved bath. He also found that it looked slightly slimy and was giving off a distinct scent.

"Disgusting," he groaned.

"Well, the favorite part of my day is ruined," he thought to himself. "There's no way I'm getting in that... Leave it to Lucius to ruin my already ruined day."

He cut the shower off and redressed himself in some fresh clean robes and walked back into his bedroom finding Lucius lounging sleepily in his bed.

"Out!" he roared and Lucius jumped out of the covers revealing that he was completely naked.

"Ugh," Severus groaned throwing a sheet over Lucius. "Put some clothes on, for Merlin's sake! We're going to set some rules right here and NOW!

"Awww, c'mon Severus," Lucius whined.

"No! I'm not coming on anything, Lucius," Severus snarled. Lucius giggled as he pulled his pants on.

"Shut up and pay attention," Snape snapped. Lucius listened raptly. "Rule number one: no sleeping in my bed. There's a perfectly good cold stone floor. Rule number two: clean the shower."

"That's not a rule," Lucius observed.

"Rule number three: shut up and stay out of my way. I'm not going to babysit you," Severus concluded as he put his glasses on preparing to leave for the staff room.

"What the-" Lucius asked staring at Severus totally bewildered. "Who are you?"

"Fuck off!" Severus exclaimed and stormed out of the room.

"Gee," sighed Lucius settling down into Severus' favorite chair. "That guy in the glasses sure is mean."

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Chapter 2 done. There haven't been many reviews, so I don't know whether to keep writing or not. If you like the story, please leave your feedback and I will totally keep writing. Cookies to all who review!


	3. Loving Stares Across the Dinner Table

To those who did review, thanks a lot! I really appreciate it!

**duj- **There's no Confundus charm on the glasses, all the people are just really too stupid to tell the difference. And Snape didn't clean the shower because he doesn't clean up other people's messes. He's a man of principles like that, lol.

Thanks for the review!

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Chapter 3

"Bloody Lucius," Snape mumbled as he strode down to the staff room. He prayed that Lucius wouldn't do anything stupid whilst he was away, and he thought about the evening that he was about to endure.

Severus hated the the Welcoming Feast and the Sorting Ceremony. He hated sitting for two hours watching a new bunch of dunderheads be sorted and then stuff their mouths unceremoniously with food. But, there was one thing he hated even more than the Welcoming Feast and the Sorting Ceremony and that was the first staff meeting of the year.

Dumbledore had always taken the opportunity to get all of the instructors in one room so that they could all meet one another and embarrass themselves. He'd always sat very quietly, even keeping his snide comments to himself, hoping that Albus would overlook him just one time and let him escape with his dignity. But, it never worked.

However, he always grunted out something along the lines of, "I'm Severus Snape and I'm the potions master. I have no private life as I'm a slave to Hogwarts and its Headmaster, so leave me alone." He had no idea what he was to say this year and really didn't care. His sole goal was to make it out with uttering the least amount of words as he could.

He neared the staffroom and making sure his glasses were intact and secure, opened the door and walked in. All of the other professors were already there, including one new face that he assumed was the new potions professor, a young woman with shoulder length dark hair and glasses. She glanced at Severus as he walked in, while continuing her conversation with Professor McGonagal.

Severus noticed that the only seat available was next to the new professor and he groaned to himself, knowing that it wouldn't be long before he was bombarded with questions from the young woman and forced into a conversation that would clearly waste much of his precious time. But, he sat down, nonetheless, turning away from the woman to face McGonagal at the head of the table who cleared her throat, bringing the staff to attention.

"Welcome to the first staff meeting. I would like to take a moment of silence for our former Headmaster Albus Dumbledore," the entire staff bowed their heads(AN:There ya go readers, a moment of silence. Now, stop grieving!) Minerva continued, "Now, I thought we'd start the first meeting the way Albus used to," Severus groaned and lay his head on the table. Minerva ignored him. "Let's start by introducing ourselves. Since we have two new faces here, I think it's only prudent that they begin. Professor Snap, if you'd be so kind as to say a few words about yourself."

Snape rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses on his nose as he stood up slowly. He addressed the staff briefly, "I'm Professor... Sullivan Snap and I'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. I look forward to working with all of you," he started to lay it on thick. At the blank looks on all of the staff he added, "That's all I have to say," and sat back down smoothing out his robes.

"Aw, c'mon, Sullivan. You can do better than that," Minerva teased poking Severus in the arm and smiling. He looked daggers at her and she backed down, going instead on to the second professor, the young woman sitting next to Severus.

The young woman stood up and smiled sweetly at the staff. She cleared her throat nervously and began, "Hello, I'm Professor Shayla Reed. A lot of you already know me as I graduated from Hogwarts eight years ago. Since then, I've been studying potion making and working in the apothecary in Diagon Alley. I can't wait to begin the school year as it's always been my dream to teach. Like Professor Snap, I look forward to working with all of you." She finished and sat down.

Minerva smiled at her, "That was very nice, Shayla. Sullivan, you could learn a thing or two from her," she chuckled nudging Snape with her elbow.

He granted Minerva a sarcastic smile and allowed his mind to wander while the rest of the professors gave their little introductions. He began to wonder how he ever got into this situation wondering what horrible things he must have done in his past life to deserve such punishment in his present one. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Minerva adjourned the staff meeting, informing them all to meet in the great hall in a half an hour to commence with the Sorting Ceremony and Feast. Severus groaned inwardly, a migraine forming in his head. He fought the urge to take his glasses off and rub his eyes, for removing them would surely put his identity in jeopardy. He wondered how all of these people could be so daft as to not recognize him.

He excused himself from the staffroom. Well, he didn't really excuse himself, more likely he slipped out when no one was looking. The other professors were all engaged in excited banter, of which he had no use for. He had just begun walking briskly down the hall when he was accosted from behind by the very sort of person he was avoiding. The new Potions Mistress, Professor Reed.

"Professor Snap?" she inquired and he turned around not saying anything. The expression on his face said enough. He looked at her as if to say, "Yeah, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to introduce myself," she said a bit shakily, put off by his stony silence.

"You already did," he replied his expression not changing.

"Ah, so I did. But, it's just that you look so dreadfully familiar," she continued.

Severus raised an eyebrow, he was becoming worried. Shayla had been his student a few years ago, he realized. He didn't remember her, but he knew she would remember the dreaded Professor Snape.

"Well, I've never seen you before," Severus said tersely.

"Oh, well. Sorry to have bothered you," Shayla replied slightly disappointed.

Severus snorted and replied, "Indeed," and he turned and continued on his way down to the Great Hall. He hoped to get there before all of the students started piling in so he could have at least a moment's silence before the chaos began.

Severus reached the Great Hall and took his seat at the staff table, laying his head down hoping to rid himself of the migraine that was forming. He knew it was futile for in a few moments, the professors arrived and started finding their seats around him. Their mindless chatter annoyed him to no end. But, what annoyed him more is that the Potions Wench was seated next to him.

"At least she's talking to McGonagal," he thought. "Hopefully I put her off enough to abandon any further attempts at a conversation with me..."

Shayla turned to face him, the smile still intact on her face.

"Oh, bollocks," he thought pinching the bridge of his nose. "Here it comes..."

"I'm so excited to be working here," she said trying to engage Severus in the polite conversation which he so hated. "Aren't you?" she asked.

"Ecstatic," he replied dryly.

"Ever since my last year here it's been my dream to teach potions."

Severus snorted. "You won't be saying that for long..."

"Why is that?" she asked innocently.

"_Because_," he said, "most of the students here are dunderheads who only take pleasure in annoying their teachers. And those who aren't, are know-it-all's who only take pleasure in showing you up."

"But, you've never taught here, right?" she asked wondering how he knew the condition of the students.

"Shit," Severus thought. "What the hell was I thinking? Shutting up now."

"Oh, look," he said trying to distract Professor Reed from his costly mistake. "Your precious students are arriving now."

He and Professor Reed watched as the seventh year students started filing into the Great Hall and taking their seats. This is the part that Severus dreaded, for among those students was the Golden Trio; Harry Potter and his little followers. He knew they would surely recognize him and his cover would be blown. Luckily for him, they hadn't noticed him yet.

Moments passed and all of the students had taken their seats. Severus tried to discourage Shayla's attempt to talk to him by facing the other direction and pretending to be very interested in Hagrid and Flitwik's conversation about the new chaise lounge Hagrid had just bought for his hut. He mused that Hagrid and Lucius would get along very well as they both had a flair for home decor. And then the Sorting Ceremony began.

Severus occupied himself by imagining each child being sorted being beheaded. He fantasized mounting the heads on the walls of his office. His eyes had become glazed over and he was deep withing dreamworld until he noticed that the Boy Wonder was staring intently at him.

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"Check out the new professor," Harry whispered to Ron and Hermione while the sorting was finishing up.

"She's hott," Ron observed in his usual piggish way.

"No, not her," Harry said pointing to Snape. "That dude."

Ron laughed, "Chexors out the glasses." Harry laughed as well.

Hermione stared at the two in indignation. "Stop being mean, you two. I'm sure he can't help his eyesight," she said, hushing the two boys.

"Yeah, but he can help his glasses looking stupid," Ron whispered, sniggering at his own joke. "I mean, take Harry for instance. He wears glasses, but he doesn't go around looking like _that_."

Ron glanced over at Snape and noticed that he was also staring at something intently. And that something seemed to be Harry.

"Harry, mate, I think the new professor has a thing for you," Ron chuckled.

"Sweet!" Harry exclaimed.

"No, not the chick," Ron laughed. "The glasses dude. He's staring at you."

"Stop it, Ronald," Hermione chastised with her usual uptightness.

"I'm serious! Look for yourself!"

Harry glance back at Severus to find that he was indeed staring at him and for a moment they made eye contact. However, Harry broke it in an instant, slightly embarrassed. He even blushed a little.

"See, mate. I told ya."

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"Well, he hasn't hexed me into oblivion yet. I guess that means I've managed to fool him," Severus thought as he stared at the Golden Trio. He noticed Harry glance in his direction and they made eye contact for an instant. "Is he blushing?" Severus wondered to himself when he saw Harry look away.

"Ahem," McGonagal began as she stood up to speak. "I would like to introduce two new members of our staff: Professor Sullivan Snap," Snape stood up to be recognized, "will be taking over the Defense Against the Dark Art's post. And Professor Shayla Reed will be our new Potions Mistress." Applause erupted in the Great Hall for the newly appointed teachers. "Now, let's commence with the mouth-stuffing!" McGonagal concluded sitting down and helping herself to the food on the staff table.

Severus didn't have much of an appetite as his migraine had gotten worse during the Sorting, so he just had some mashed potatoes. Glancing down at the Gryffindor table, he noticed that yet again someone was staring at him. But, it wasn't Harry this time.

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"He looks awfully familiar," Hermione said thoughtfully looking up at the staff table where Severus sat.

"I was thinking the same thing," said Harry.

"I think he used to come to my pilates class," Ron added.

Hermione and Harry turned to look at Ron in unison completely weirded out.

"What?" Ron asked with his mouth full.

"Well, whoever he is, he keeps staring at you, Harry," Hermione admitted.

"Raog isk tu jubb oks toab," Ron added his mouth trying to process his food. Hermione nodded in agreement. Harry just looked confused.

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The feast ended and McGonagal ordered the students to have a good night and all the students piled out of the Great Hall to go to their respective common rooms. Severus was reluctant to return to his rooms as he knew Lucius was waiting for him there, but he also didn't want to wander around the halls much for fear of running into anyone and being forced into conversation. So, he opted in favor of going back to his quarters.

Outside of the door he remembered that Lucius was an idiot, so he took off his glasses so as not to confuse him. He opened the door and was met with a narrow-eyed stare from Lucius.

"Where have you been, Mister?" Lucius inquired, his hands on his hips.

"You know damn well where I've been, not that it's any of your business," Severus replied, pushing Lucius out of the way and heading into the bathroom to make a tinkle. He had drank a lot of pumpkin juice.

"I stay here all day, laboring to make your living space clean and this is the thanks I get!" Lucius asked, his temper mounting.

"So, you did clean the shower, then?" Severus asked, not bothered by Lucius' behavior.

"You bet I did. It was in dire need of cleaning! I don't see how you live like this. I don't know what you would do if I were to _leave you_." Lucius waited for Severus' reaction.

"I'm not playing housewife with you Lucius, so you can forget about it," Severus stated.

"Aw, mannn."

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So, chapter 3 done. I think I'm really getting the hang of the characters. Expect more soon and remember that good reviews make a happy writer!


	4. Strangers With Candy

Strangers With Candy

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"Page three hundred and ninety four," Snape droned on to the seventh year Gryffindors whom he now had the displeasure of having for class.

"Werewolves, sir?" Hermione questioned, unsure of whether this new professor would tolerate her inquisitorial nature.

"Huh?" Snape questioned dumbly as if in a daze. He looked down at his own textbook. "Oh, no. Sorry. I meant page nine hundred and thirty four. Today we will be learning about counterjinxes."

Everyone in class began flipping their pages frantically, so that they could follow along with the new professor.

Earlier that day, Severus had begun to think about what he was to do about his situation. And while he was thinking of it, he had divided his mission into two parts. And just to be cool he entitled these two parts Operation One and Operation Two.

Operation One was to get close to Harry Potter. He felt that he would need to form some sort of a friendship with the boy, in order to gain his trust. Even though just the thought of interacting with the boy in a professional manner made him nauseas, he knew there was no other way. He, Severus Snape, rival of James Potter, and hater of Harry Potter, would have to be _nice_.

Now that every student had their book turned to the correct page, he gave the class a short lecture and ordered the students to break into pairs, so he could begin on Operation One. He planned to make Harry an example in class. Not in the way he usually did though, by berating him continuously on how idiotic he was. No, he was going to... compliment the boy. His stomach turned at the thought and he felt sure that his face had turned a pale shade of green.

And so he walked around the classroom watching as each student had failed to properly produce a counterjinx. But, he thought, surely, that Harry would achieve one, despite his dunderheady tendencies.

However, Severus was wrong. He watched Harry fail, time and again, until he was forced to discretely point his wand at Weasley and produce a counterjinx himself.

"Perfect!" Snape exclaimed, striding over to Harry and clapping him on the back. Harry looked completely surprised and examined at the tip of his wand as if waiting for something to come out of it.

"Class," Snape began, "Our young Mr. Potter has just performed a brilliant counterjinx! I want you all to bear witness of me complimenting him to gain his trust! I mean..." he covered hastily... "bear witness of Mr. Potter's mental and physical prowess. He is clearly superior to you all!"

The class stared at him silently, not sure of what to do.

Snape's face was clearly flushed, and then his face twisted up so much that it looked like he'd sucked on a lemon.

"Ten points... to Gryffindor!" Snape exclaimed, looking thoroughly disgusted with himself. All of the Gryffindors patted Harry on his back.

Snape looked at Harry with disgust. "Quite like your father..." he mumbled. Harry stared up at him imploringly, and Snape, realizing his error continued on with class hastily, hoping that Harry would forget the mention of his father.

But, he hoped in vain. For when he dismissed the class and all of the students had filed out, he was met with a very curious Harry Potter standing in front of his desk.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Snape snarled.

Harry looked a bit taken aback, but went on to ask, "I was just wondering... how you knew my father, sir..." his eyes glistening with the ghosts of his past.

Snape managed to compose himself enough to wipe the sneer off his face and replace it with a silly smile.

"Think, Severus, think," he thought to himself. What could he say that wouldn't bury him deeper?

"Well, um..." Severus began, stalling.

"It's a simple question professor," Harry stated impatiently as though he were interrogating him.

"I- uh- well... Your father and I used to... bowl... together," Snape finished feebly sure that Harry would see right through his pathetic response.

"Wow, really?" Harry asked excitedly, his eyes sparkling.

Seeing Harry's lack of suspicion, and abundance of eagerness he continued, "Ah, yes. James and I used to be bowling champions. He used to grab those balls with such fierce... ferocity and hurl them toward the pins like a... husband would hurl his battered wife into a wall... Those were the days..." Snape finished observing Harry for his response.

"Wow, I never knew my dad was so good at bowling," Harry mused. "Lupin and Sirius never told me... I think I'll ask Lupin about it..."

"Um, you don't want to do that," Snape stated hastily. Harry looked at him questioningly. "Your father was very- ah- sensitive about his bowling habits. Didn't really let it known. I don't think he'd want his secret revealed even after his death."

Harry nodded, "I understand."

"Indeed," Snape responded feeling that he was gaining some ground with Harry. He began feeling around his desk for something. "Would you like some candy, Harry?" he offered, knowing that the certain way to a student's trust would be to offer them confiscated goods.

Harry, however, eyed him suspiciously. "I'm not allowed to take candy from strangers," Harry stated refusing the sweets becoming very wary of the new professor. "I-uh... think it's time that I went to my dorm... to... uh... not be here..." Harry excused himself and Snape, feeling that he had completely lost any trust that he had gained, let Harry go. He would try another day. He took off his glasses and lay his head down on the desk in frustration.

Just as Harry left a hooded figure entered the room and tapping Severus on the head asked very loudly, "Have you ensnared the Potter boy yet!"

Severus' head shot up and he grabbed the hooded figure by the throat. "Shhhh, Lucius!" he hushed him. "What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell are you doing out of my quarters?" he demanded.

"Honestly, Severus. You can't expect me to stay cooped up in there forever. It's absolutely dismal," he drolled.

"It's better than staying cooped up in Azkaban," Snape observed.

"You raise a valid point," Lucius admitted straightening his robes and taking a seat on Severus' desk. "By the way, Severus. Have you seen the new potions mistress? She's positively hott! I'm thinking of introducing myself..."

"Lucius," Severus began ignoring him. Lucius listened intently. "Do you remember those little rules we talked about earlier?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm adding a rule. You are not to go cavorting around Hogwarts in broad daylight!" he said dangerously. "Normally, I couldn't care less what happens to you, but you are putting my mission in danger. I will not have your pathetic need to be yourself bring me down!" he finished and grabbing Lucius by the collar, began dragging him down the hallway and threw him unceremoniously into his rooms.

"Prude!" Lucius exclaimed as Severus shut and locked the door.

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Well, there's another chapter. I know it's kinda short. But, I still think it's good. R/R plzkthnx!


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